I Am Doing Nothing
Context
Name: | nervewing |
Trip Date: | 06/2017 |
Age: | 21 |
Setting: | my apartment |
Gender: | not specified |
Height: | 6'0 |
Weight: | 130 lbs |
Substances
Name | Dosage | Route of Administration |
4-HO-DET | 30 mg | Oral in Gel Cap |
Onset
T0:00: | Dosed. |
T0:15: | Onset. I am beginning to shake a good bit. Mentally it feels like a sort of soft psychedelic drowsiness with pangs of some deep primal anxiety. |
T0:30: | I am lying on my bed and amidst its immaculate comfort, the drowsiness has turned into a full and gentle sedation. I am locked in place and I have little intention of even attempting to move. My mattress is soft and it swallows me whole. I have chills and my eyelids feel heavy. I could fall asleep here. My fingertips feel numb save for a gentle pulsing tapping sensation. |
T1:00: | Not really feeling much other than that same sedation and that sort of mental heaviness/heat that comes with psychedelics. No visuals or other noteworthy effects. A nauseous feeling has become much more apparent. |
Peak
T1:25: | I believe I am beginning to peak now. Visuals begin to appear, they are light but apparent. They manifest as somewhat indistinct stationary patterns, soft, organic, and harmonious. There is noticeable music appreciation now. I smoke some cannabis and this fleshes out the visuals further, inundating them with vibrant chroma- everything white is splashed with pulsing concentric stripes of color. |
T1:40: | I feel unnaturally warm and I am shaking quite a bit. I close my eyes and am greeted by more vague, indistinct shapes zooming towards me. They fly directly into my face, startling and energetic. When I open my eyes, there is a gradual fade back into reality, the room around me slowly generating itself from the void as though it is blossoming forth from a tangle of crawling vines. |
T2:00: | Still drifting aimlessly through the peak of the experience. I feel understimulated and bored. I am laying on my bed doing literally nothing. I try to browse the internet but nothing captures my interest. This experience overall feels mentally and emotionally quite shallow. |
T2:40: | A stronger physical discomfort has set in, a sort of twisting and throbbing pain at random points in my torso. I am trying to lie down but cannot find any position where I feel comfortable. |
T3:00: | This drug has proven to be quite dull. With many psychedelics, I can find entertainment simply in laying still, closing my eyes and meditating. I would usually find myself traveling through novel mechanisms and chains of thought, exploring colorful depths and worlds of visuals. I would find myself looking at the world in new ways, considering things from a more holistic perspective. Psychedelics usually make it entertaining just to sit there and do nothing. This however, offered no such concession- my idleness was a shadow looming above me, criticizing me for my inaction, for the fact that I dosed myself with something that sedated my mind to the point of impairment, that I wasted an afternoon that I could’ve spent doing something productive. It’s a feeling of psychedelic self-criticism that is marked by a scathing scorching harshness I had not felt since my days of exploring NBOMes in the depths of deep depressions. I am a wastrel, I am wasting precious time and precious energy doing nothing but sitting around on my laptop, not even doing something productive like learning, just sitting there. |
Offset
T4:00: | More time has passed with doing nothing, but that depression, draining, self-critical sense is slowly and gently passing. I am feeling more able to simply exist peacefully. The comedown is a gradual and gentle landing. |
T6:30: | I am mostly down by now, even when I smoke some more cannabis. I feel burned out after, it’s none of that usual mental stimulation and acuity I feel when coming down from psychedelics. It’s just a sense of overwhelming dullness. |
Conclusion / Aftermath
This is perhaps one of the more boring psychedelics I have tasted. The experience does not lend itself to any meaningful thought processes or profound explorations of existence, rather it is a dull neutrality that I simply drifted through, gaining nothing. The sensory effects were colorful and vibrant, but not enough to make the overall experience stimulating. This could perhaps be attributed to a particularly dull set and setting, though many psychedelics manage to make lying on my bed with my eyes closed for long periods of time entertaining and profound.