Depersonalization is an effect that I have experienced to the fullest degree almost every waking second of my adult life. It started at the age of as a young teenager when I began to realise that I no longer felt as if I was myself or that I even had a sense of self, alongside the sensation that my entire body and consciousness was in a state of mechanical autopilot. However, at the age of 17, my feelings of depersonalisation were spontaneously eradicated during a single specific LSD trip. This experience returned my sense of selfhood and gave me the profound sensation that I was not an electrochemical machine responding to external sensory input with fully preprogrammed responses but that I was, in fact, a conscious agent living in an external world while capable of making its own choices through the application of its free will. A state of mind which I have come to realise that most people take entirely for granted. Although this feeling of "normalcy" lasted the better part of 3 years, it eventually began to fade back into depersonalisation. It has been 6 years now, I have not experienced a sense of selfhood or free will since I was a teenager and I have given up hope that I ever will again. However, it's important to note that despite this persistent and continuous depersonalisation, my ability to function and to live a happy life remains completely unaffected. This has left me with the impression that those who experience fear or disorientation when undergoing this state are not experiencing feelings that are intrinsic to the condition itself but are instead responding to a forced change in their culturally embedded assumptions on the nature of human identity.