Sick off of Alien Resplendence
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Powder insufflated. This was one of the most unpleasant drug administration experiences I have ever had. The powder smells acrid, like something rotten. It is also incredibly fine and chalky. The act of insufflating it disturbed it enough to fluff it into big dust clouds in my throat and sinuses. The dust clouds bear that same acrid smell, and sting anywhere they touch. The main bit of powder has clumped up into an extremely unpleasant and decently painful mess. My throat is sore and the flavor and unrelenting presence of the clouds of powder trigger nausea instantly.
Already feel the onset. Textures around me begin to wave and pulse, and physically I begin to feel very light. I begin to get some drip and it is incredibly nasty. The nausea doesn’t feel psychosomatic like with most psychedelics, just my body’s reaction to the gross powder.
I am beginning to shake. I don’t necessarily feel stimulated and tweaky, I just feel like shaking my limbs. There is none of that uncomfortable restlessness, just a strange and very neutral sensation of wanting to be in motion. This powder though, it’s just sunken into my face, rotted into my face, it infects the air I breathe and makes everything foul. I cannot wait until it is absorbed into my body and I don’t need to feel or taste it anymore.
The visuals which up to this point consisted of some colorful auras and drifting and warping textures begin to really truly take form. It is like some world is assembling itself before me, a mystical and esoteric world that has been hiding in the shadows until this very moment, that is now excited to finally reveal itself to me. The patterns that start to form are incredibly intricate, like a carefully organized tracery of vines, all of their thousands of minute leaves carefully interlocking and tangling in the most beautiful organized way. My entrance into this world feels like I am being met with open arms, it is welcoming and accommodating. The air is vibrating around me, and the walls are feeding on themselves and collapsing inwards. The fabric of reality has folded into a trillion folds, each fold its own unique species in this brand new ecosystem, the facets of existence interacting and feeding on one another in a beautiful trophic harmony. This is all fine and dandy, but physically I feel fucking awful. I am sick to my stomach, I am so nauseous and my stomach and abdomen are cramping with an incredibly uncomfortable pain. Not even intense pain, just an acute discomfort. I am shaking and achey, and that god awful taste/smell is still in my mouth and throat.
This is so intense, there is just so much happening around me. Everything around me feels like creatures, not in the traditional sense of a living breathing being, but some odd autonomous sentience. It’s as if reality has synthetically formed itself into tiny subdivsions, each of which has become some odd being that seems to be imitating the human perception of a lifeform. The world is just a great big amalgam of these creatures. I still feel so very sick. I almost throw up, but not quite. I am clutching my trash can for dear life. This sucks but is so cool at the same time. In my notes I wrote “I feel like a palace trapped within itself”. I’m not sure entirely what the literal meaning of that was, or what stimulus triggered that response, but honestly I feel like it describes the state pretty well.
The best descriptor I could give the visuals at this point is resplendent, like the most beautiful glistening feathers of the most beautiful bird, blowing in the wind, or perhaps interlocking and unfolding as this great phoenix unfurls its iridescent wings. It surrounds me, it encompasses me and parades as a cascade of feathers around me. The headspace has breached a wall and become strange and alien now. It is like all those odd autonomies entities around me have evolved into a grand sentience woven from the twisted fabric of reality, some sort of overmind or undermind hiding and playing in the shadows of our reality. It had used this trip as a chance to manifest in my reality, but it could not simply spontaneously manifest, it had to lay out the pieces and wait for them to evolve and grow into its final form. And at last the incredibly intricate lacework of its veins and nerves, each borne from their own autonomous beings, had formed into a collective being. That was about as far as it could go. Communication was nil. The best way I could describe the feeling was that something was trying to take me somewhere, but I was not entirely sure what, where, or why. It had put so much effort into forming itself into this world, only to fail at the threshold, finding me completely alien and incommunicable. I wonder if a higher dose would connect me to this underlying consciousness somehow? Also I still felt disgusting and terrible, cramps and aches all over my body and all up and down my stomach and abdomen. At least that awful taste was gone now.
I am seeing faces in everything, it’s pareidolia that reminds me of my first few psychedelic experiences, where that was probably the most notable visual aspect. I’m not even entirely sure if I am literally seeing faces however. It’s just this feeling of being watched, or perhaps of my surroundings being represented as some expressive formation, a series of forms that portrays an emotion or action or thought based on sequential changes in their formation. Whatever it is, its surrounding me, staring at me blankly, not even staring at me but staring through me.
Bodyload still raging. Bleh. I try drawing, but it looks just okay. Sometimes, with psychedelics, I have a really amplified sense of aesthetics, everything is instilled with a certain artistic harmony and an augmented sense of balance and composition. LSD does this a lot. No such luck with this compound however. The edge of its intensity has come off a little, although I am still tripping very hard and feeling some pretty rockin’ visuals.
I would say I started coming down about here. And this is what I was seeking…. The headspace on the comedown is incredible, I feel an unquenchable thirst for knowledge and begin reading feverishly about tarantulas, wanting to learn everything I can about them, mostly to properly appreciate the new pet I acquired recently. My mind feels substantially more functional then normal, conversation flows extra smooth, this is one of my favorite part of psychedelics. The bodyload hasn’t entire subsided but is milder and more manageable now.
Mostly back to baseline by now.
Fall asleep easily.
Conclusion / Aftermath
4-HO-DPT like its cousin DPT is an incredibly deep, strange, alien, and biomorphic psychedelic that seems like it has a lot to offer, high doses seem to show the potential for some really interesting entity contact, or perhaps this is best done through combining it with other substances. The major obstacle is the absolutely horrendous ROA and the crippling bodyload. The bodyload is substantially worse than DPT, with awful abdominal aches and cramps and nausea that lasts almost through the entire trip. When the pain finally subsided I felt like I had been dredged and left raw and bare in my pain. Administering it is another hellish ordeal. I have never taken a drug that was so unpleasant to administer. Maybe it’s just this batch but the powder smells and tastes awful, and its so floury that it gets everywhere, and stings whatever it touches. I couldn’t imagine trying to stuff 100 mg or more of this stuff into my face. I tried it orally at 125 mg and felt literally nothing, meaning that if I want to do anything fun with this I’m going to have to snort it. Easily one of the most unpleasant things I’ve snorted, just after MXP.
I had super high expectations for this drug, calling it my holy grail. Psychologically/sensorily it was a very rewarding and interesting experience, but it was hampered by the awful bodyload, which seems like it would also put a cap on further exploration, as it would only increase with dosage. This is a shame, I was really excited to explore this compound and this little taste of it has me even more interested, but I am very put off by the pain and discomfort it also induced.