T1:00
Everything is so flat I am so flat. I am thinking a lot about other people now, viewing them from every angle hyper analytically like with the sound clip before. My mind has become a grey gelly tentacle creature with a great glassy eye, grabbing thoughts and memories and gazing real close as it turns them over in its hands, viewing them from every angle. The entire world stretches into a grim grey pallid smile, an eternal dry grin, the world is bones and crags, smoothness jaggedness and sterility. My mind is smeared blank, my thoughts begin to wander aimlessly. Why do I like music? What makes it appealing? This feels like MXE if everything was sinking and everything was a dead moth. This is pure ivory stasis and I am being smeared across it. I begin to think about the future and every vision is bleak and apocalyptic and ominous.
(notes begin to get more and more incoherent)
T1:10
I begin getting visions of a great flat pixelated world, faces floating above me, a blocky desert all around me. Memories come back to tell me about how weird they are. I feel like a million bubbles lifting upwards. The sun has appeared in all of its glory and fury and my room burns with its incredible sterilizing light. I am so dissociated that even getting up is a baffling ordeal. My hands look like they have been crawling through a distant desert, like little scuttling creatures. Everything is glistening and glowy but in a sterile blistering way, I feel like I am being sucked down some great drain, but I am not large enough to fit. Reality has become meaningless to me and everything sounds like it is coming through a fan. I am so incredibly altered.
T1:20
I feel like a bug. Certain drugs are very buggy to me, like this, 4-HO-MiPT, and Ketamine. The visuals, the sky, everything is insects, a mechanical-biological world of strange creaking clicking creatures. It’s all so mechanical and lifeless. I listen to mechanical buzzy lifeless music that seems to resonate perfectly with my head. I am not blessed by the landscapes and vistas and color and rush and sense of adventure with some of my favorite dissociatives like MXE. Rather, I am just sunk into this endless glassy grey quagmire of flat pallid nothing. Eventually the world begins to be consumed by a ringing static. All of these aforementioned qualities begin to fade to this buzzing shifting static, a static that consumes, that spreads like a virus. It is a sea, and the grains of sand on the beach, and the turbulent wash of all of those things together.
T1:30
I feel like I am completely and entirely mechanical. To this end I spend the next 20 minutes or so holding down keys on my keyboard to make a big ASCII pictures of absolutely nothing. (see pastebin link). I still feel gelly, I still feel sunk, I still feel awash in abrading and grinding static. My laptop screen caves in away from me. It’s the blankest and most neutral trance imaginable.
T3:00
I forget how I passed the time for the past few hours. I still feel like I am going just as hard as before, this is a unrelenting long lasting dissociative, hammering my mind like sheets of rain and hurricane winds. My mind feels so raw and bare, like it has been eroded by winds, and its hollowed depths now host only the howling winds. I feel like a rock in the desert, blasted into a bleak white by sand, sun and winds every moment of every day. It is like the air is screaming. I am so spun out, this is certainly not a functional dissociative.
