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I packed the slider with somewhere between 60-80mg of DMT. The DMT was from the second pull of my extraction, white “sticky” crystals. In comparison my previous trips used DMT of lower purity (yellow goo), and the difference was very noticeable. At higher purity the body load was much less. Previous trips I had a sort of mental block that prevented me from taking the big hits that would send me to hyperspace. That block was gone; I was ready to experience the full power of DMT. My roommate is sitting next to me, ready to take the bong from me. I readied myself and took the first hit. It was massive, to full lung capacity. As I held it it I felt it start to creep up on me. What was I doing? I reminded myself to take a second hit. I took it as things started to lose meaning around me. For a few seconds it persisted like this. I could feel the DMT on the cusp of unleashing itself, like standing near the edge of a cliff. My roommate took the bong. It was bizarre, seeing a person I didn’t recognize took an object I didn’t understand from me. I didn’t make it to hit 3.
I feel my thoughts being shut down by the DMT. Complete and utter ego death hits. It was comparable in intensity to 100+mg 4aco trips I had experienced. Everything is beyond comprehension. At first I wonder what is happening to me, I forgot I took DMT or what DMT was. I thought I was dying. Terror creeps up, the primal fear of death. I lose all concept of “me”. My entire existence is this singularity. Everything is me and I am everything. I am terrified but fear nothing. I accept my death. I hear an EKG flatline throughout the trip. I see my own fear quantified and interpreted into intense overriding geometry. I am recursive. I see my consciousness reflected in hallucination. Time means nothing, I am in this state for an eternity. Death is endless.
I am standing at a carnival, it is unfamiliar to me. If I remembered anything, I might have thought I was dead. It is night. Off to the right in the distance I see a Ferris wheel adorned with red and yellow lights. I am standing in the center of a lot of carnival games. To my right is a target shooting game, to my left is a ring toss area. I walk over to the ring toss. All their prizes are varying sizes of stuffed Pikachus. I start to play until I feel myself being pulled away. I feel my thoughts slowly return as I try to process what happened. I enter this limbo state of fear and confusion again.
Broken disjointed thoughts slowly formulate into coherence. I start seeing the room around me again. It takes me a few moments to realize I am back in reality and alive. I am sweating and shaking a little. The first words I say are “Holy Shit”. I was so glad to be alive. I get up from the chair I was in, drink some water and curl up in bed grasping what just happened. I tell my roommate the story. It was intense, yet I was euphoric. I felt like I had been given back by life. I was glad it happened but still shaky from the experience. According to my roommate I was looking around the room throughout the trip, completely silent with no signs of what was happening inside. He had given me a stuffed Pikachu sometime during the trip, I thought it was fascinating how that interpreted into hallucination
I watch an episode of Adventure Time and fall asleep.