Introduction
A little more than three years ago, I was hanging out with some friends and the topic of Salvia came up. A couple of my friends, who were younger than me, had smoked it before. At the time I had been smoking cannabis regularly for two years and also had experiences with psilocybin mushrooms, dextromethorphan, and diphenhydramine. I knew that Salvia was much more intense than almost any other substance, but I had to see it for myself. One friend's ("friend B") description of his trip made me decide to buy some; he said every time he laughed, his head felt like it was made of pieces of Lego which were falling apart. This intrigued me. We went to our local headshop and I purchased one gram of 20x Salvia Divinorum. It came in a plastic Ziploc bag with a sticker-label on it, and the stuff looked like crushed spider-legs. The girl behind the counter gave her mandatory spiel about using it in a safe environment, with a trip sitter, etc., but as you will read later we didn't exactly follow her instructions. After procuring the Salvia, the four of us headed to our friend's house nearby. We'll call him "friend A". Our biggest problem: Friend A's mother was an addictions counselor and wouldn't be pleased with us smoking dissociatives in her basement. Thankfully, via some sort of kismet she had plans to go see a movie, so we sat on the couch and packed a bowl of Salvia mixed with a bit of weed into a bong while we waited for her to leave.
Onset
Soon enough, we heard the front door open and her car pulled out of the driveway; we were good-to-go. since I'd paid for the Salvia I had dibs on the first bowl. I pulled slowly and deeply, making sure to burn the whole bowl. My friends stared with bated breath. I held the smoke in for about 5 seconds then exhaled, which elicited gasps of dismay from two friends. "You're supposed to hold it in man, now it probably won't work", they advised. However, within a few seconds, I could see things beginning to change; my friends' faces looked like some kind of blurry plasticine. I sunk into the couch and clutched its armrest with anticipation. They could see my expression changing quickly, and remarked that I was obviously starting to trip. I looked at the TV across the room and was shocked that I could see the entire TV. It was like I could see all six sides of the TV unfolded before me, including its wiry innards. My mouth gaped as I took all of this in. Friend C (A's sister) abruptly tried to grab a sweater I had been sitting on. When I felt the tug under me, I looked down. The space between the sweater and the couch was a void. A deep, black void that wanted to suck me in. I clutched the sweater into my arms and tried to stretch it back over the void. "I need this!" I hissed. She laughed awkwardly and remarked that she was cold, but didn't try to take the sweater. And then suddenly, I heard a familiar sound. Like the slamming of wood and metal, but I couldn't understand it. Then, from out of the six-dimensional TV, came a woman's voice. It shouted my Friend A's name and I saw my friends reel with terror. I realized that was not a hallucination; my friend's addiction-counsellor mom came home. "Fuck! What's she doing home so early!?" Friend A remarked. Then I stupidly decided to try to speak, "But... she can't yet. I'm on the... the thing. Um. Salvia." I mumbled flatly. I heard the basement door open. "Shut up! Don't say that word! Fuck, man!" Friend B hissed. I tried to process this. "But... I'm... Salvia." I retorted. Upon hearing her footsteps and voice in the basement, it clicked in my head that speaking was not going to help me. I continued staring at the TV (which was off the whole time). Friend A's mother sniffed the air. "It smells down here... have you been smoking in here, A?" Waves of trepidation. Every word she said seemed to come out of the TV, although she was actually behind me. Thankfully A had not smoked yet and had prepared an excuse, "No I was burning incense. I mean, that's obviously not the smell of cigarettes or anything, right?" A stroke of genius; how would she know what Salvia smelled like? His mother glanced us all over. I continued staring into the morphing TV, refusing to make eye contact. After a few uncomfortable moments, she remarked that she had forgotten her wallet and was now late for her movie. She hurriedly left the house and we all sighed in relief. My visuals started to subside. We waited for a few minutes to calm down, then packed another bowl. This time it was Friend C's turn, at 16 she was the youngest of us all and I don't think she had experience with anything other than cannabis and alcohol. Therefore, we packed her a comparatively smaller bowl. Having seen my mistake, she knew to hold the smoke in until the effects started. Within seconds of smoking, I saw her eyes well with tears and an uncomfortable grin spread across her face. She laid back in her seat and put her hands in the air as if she was on a rollercoaster. Soon, she was laughing so hard she was crying. It sounded like she was trying to speak but could not stop laughing, she was in complete hysterics. We all watched and laughed along with her as she screamed with laughter. Within a few minutes, she was wiping the tears from her face and explaining that she actually was on a rollercoaster, and ice cream cones were the passengers. She couldn't elaborate more than that. This seemed like a very light-hearted and fun trip compared to what I had seen with the TV. In light of her hilarious trip, I decided I would re-try.