T1:40
The headspace honestly feels like a tryptamine, thoughts are growing and blossoming organically with everything seeming so matter of fact, so zen, so natural. It is not the sort of speediness or synthetic weirdness of other phenethylamines that makes the world seem so alien, it is wonderful and harmonious. The visuals are synthetic in character but organic in nature, if that makes any sense. They are synthetic geometries that are behaving in an organic fashion in terms of how they flow, grow, and interact. It is beautiful and graceful, I lie on my bed and feel like a big beautiful graceful bird soaring above the landscape. If only I didn’t feel so sick.
T2:00
I throw up a bunch. I still feel sick afterwards. This is a bit frustrating, I was hoping purging would make it all feel better. I am clearheaded enough to do things, but also very very altered. I couldn’t interact with people, but like, I’m lucid enough to use a computer and maybe talk to people if I really really needed to. It is a really pleasant and beautiful and harmonious headspace, I just wish I didn’t feel so sick.
T2:20
The trip feels like it is somehow torn between two dualities, or has turned the world into a pole between two dualities. Not in the sense that I am seeing everything in terms of black and white, but in that our entire world exists as a duality to another entire existence. Maybe that would be a very lofty and superlative way to refer to it. It feels like I am being vibrated between two poles, that the fibers of my being consist of duality, or that there are two polar beings who are judging me and guiding me, and my existence is an amalgamation of these dualities, a fundamental and absurd dissonance.
T2:30
This is beginning to get more intense. I am having trouble with my short term memory, a sure sign that I am tripping absurdly hard. It’s a good thing I am alone. The bodyload is immense, I can feel the discomfort in my bones I can feel the discomfort as electricity through my muscles. Time dilation becomes very distinct. I wish the nausea would pass but time is just passing so slowly that it seems like I’ll be stuck with this for a while.
T2:35
-It feels like an hour has passed. Whalp. I feel so primal, it feels like I’ve been pared down to my flesh and blood and bones. All these possessions around me are nothing, I am not any of the things I own or the image I project, I am only this body. I feel so isolated from everything and anyone, I feel so independent and it is liberating to a degree but also somewhat unsettling. I feel so alone against such an immense world, without my identity or possessions to back me up. The bodyload feels like a big gross spear has been impaled through me axially.
