T2:45
The experience is leveling off now. The visuals haven’t built up much more, they will occasionally flash in and then disappear. They are timid and seem unsure of whether or not they themselves should be here. With my eyes closed there is not much to note either, just waves and pulses in dull colors.
The chills have faded to a grand rising rippling heat, it feels the way a boiling hot radiator feels on a snowy day, incredibly radiant, wet (I’m mildly sweaty), but not necessarily luminous or fiery. It’s like my body is a great big furnace. The heat energizes me, I feel so restless and I want to get up and do things and move around. Despite this visceral urge, I cannot come up with any particular reason to get up and do things, and all I could do really is pace around the house, so I just sit still and fidget. It feels spacy, not like I am spaced out, but like there is a huge empty volume to this trip. I feel like my mind is a child running around in a big empty room- a lot of energy to let out and nowhere for it to go, or no way for it to really affect the space around it. My thoughts are articulate and succinct, when I talk I feel like I am direct and to the point and earnest. It is pleasant to feel this way.
The bodyload continues, the same tension, restlessness, and nausea. Now an irritating urinary retention has set in too, a recurring side effect from phenethylamines. I constantly feel like I have to go but I can’t, and flushing myself with water doesn’t seem to do much. I am continuously hitting my Cannabis one hitter in hopes of abating some of these discomforts. Each hit feels like blowing on hot coals, they make the trip breathe and glow and emit more heat, it makes the visuals shine for a bit before they fade into the background again.
T3:30
The trip burns and sizzles as the peak lingers, like a hot ember sitting on my skin. My one friend who loves comic books shows me some of the ones he brought and explains to me what he likes about them. It’s so fun to listen to him talk about something that he loves and it was really cool to engage in this media with him as a sort of guide, it fostered a newfound appreciation, particularly as I don’t read western comics much. The pages were not adorned with distinct visuals but it seemed as if the craftsmanship and composition behind the art particularly stood out. This feels like a psychedelic stimulant, not necessarily a “roll” though, with no empathogenic effects to note. Rather, it seems to shine most in the range of its cognitive effects, it feels as if the things I am engaging with are imprinting deeply on my memory like a brand. I send out long overdue correspondences with people online and read through forum posts about research chemicals. The things I type out feel articulate and salient, and it feels exciting to engage with people so far away.
I spend a lot of time just sitting there petting my friend’s dog. It’s so nice to interact with this big mammal and have an animal respond positively to my presence. I find myself pondering how pleasant so many little things I take for granted are.
The urinary retention has become particularly marked as the other sides of the bodyload have receded. I find myself frequently having to get up and go and there is a persistent ache and itching tension in my lower abdomen, it is fairly unpleasant. My bladder feels like a weight that the rest of my body strains to hold in place.
