Dose taken. At my house with friends over, two of them on acid and one of a combination of MXP and DXM.

First notes begin to manifest, a bit of chills and shaking with some abdominal discomfort.

A familiar warm psychedelic weightlessness sets in. It feels warm and fuzzy, yet at the same time there is great discomfort stirring within me. My muscles constantly feel as though they are on the brink of springing to action, making them quite dissatisfied with the fact that I am simply sitting still. I am quite nauseous and stricken with this stimulated toxicity like my nerves are being zapped into overdrive.

The same feelings continue to fester and spin inside of me. Visual effects begin to pick up as if they are a distinct result of my brain “frying” under this stimulating electric storm of nerve impulses. They appear as a dancing haze, a psychedelic fog tracing itself in the air and giving off the appearance of auras and heat waves. Closing my eyes give the first clear visuals, triangular patterns and chevrons rapidly radiating out of central points, flowing furiously like conveyor belts gone haywire, flipping and spinning and rotating around and vigorously cascading outwards. I am shaking quite a bit now.

Still the same discomfort. The nausea and GI symptoms are calming slightly although the shaking has ramped up to the point where it is impeding my ability to type. For the sake of amusement I tried converting my vicious tremors into playing a bass drum, as I find myself tapping my leg very rapidly. It sounds like a machine gun, it was pretty cool, I wish I knew how to play drums because I could probably do some absurd blast beats in this state or something. I really don’t know much about music to be honest though. The same closed eyed visuals are still presenting, still moving as rapidly as my heartbeat, my thoughts, my every movement. If I could describe myself in one word, it would be ‘fast’. The open eyed visuals are simple concentric patterns and a distinct fogginess to my vision, not blurriness but as if my vision was washed out and faded. Cognitively, my thought processes are mostly introspective and self-reflective, as if the burden of trying to orient my excess energy with the outside world is too much and I must turn inwards for any sense of harmony or calm. Even confined to an inner realm however, my thoughts still flit about too quickly for me to catch them, too erratic for me to focus on them or process them. They whizz around nebulously like a swarm of insects. Yet I do not feel anxious in any way. I am taken by a sense of mindful calm and being in the present, a distinct ability to ignore these relentlessly errant thoughts and to peacefully accept this ignorance. My thoughts are racing and I just don’t care.

I’ve felt faint and overall faded for the better part of the last few hours. The tremors and shaking are still enough to interfere with any activity that requires fine motor skill. Nausea and queasiness has been coming in random bouts the entire time, seeming to alternate on and off every 20 minutes or so. Despite what feels like many close calls I do not end up needing to vomit. Open eyed visuals have mostly been slight and only noticeable when focused on. Thought processes had mostly sputtered out now leaving that sense of empty calm, despite the physical agitation. This drug is pleasant, but not particularly deep or interesting. I find myself saying a lot of extraneous stuff and being pointlessly verbose in conversation, speaking in long, rambling tirades, and sending long rambling messages to people.

Smoke a lot of cannabis. It seems to calm down some of the bodyload for a bit. I am shaking somewhat less and the nausea seems to have passed. The smoking stokes the flames of my thought however, and what had been smoldering embers was now ignited into a glistening glowering conflagration. The visuals also became more prominent. A text from someone who couldn’t know I was tripping filled me with racing anxious thoughts about how to deal with the situation and the potential bad outcomes, especially in case of them trying to call me. I decided to calm myself down by hiding upstairs in my room. I was feeling so overstimulated that I decided not even to turn the light on and simply lie there in the darkness. Lying down was overall comfortable, at least at first. However, the agitation in my limbs filled me with this looming sense that I should be up and about. The open eyed visuals were more prominent now, appearing as great spiraling checkerboard fractals, rapidly spinning and morphing and pulsing and radiating in the dark, not in any bright colors but in muted cool tones. Everything seemed to have a rippling magenta aura. I became locked in introspection as I was tossing and turning on my bed, struggling to find any one position comfortable for long. My thoughts often turned dark and pessimistic and I was often struggling to reconcile my existence with the amount of suffering others experienced and potential suffering I could experience. My thoughts were always grounded and pragmatic though, and never risked spiraling out of control. I also found myself having to urinate quite frequently, sometimes encountering urinary retention despite this. After going I decided to rejoin my friends downstairs.

Some friends come by and smoke. Socializing feels awkward but these are good friends whom I am comfortable with, so it ends up leveling out and feeling okay. I feel tweaked out, like the energy I had previously that I could devote to making verbose conversation had burned away and left me feeling lazy and slurred. Despite this I still physically felt very stimulated and speedy. After they leave, another friend arrives and doses LSD, adding to the collective madness of the setting. My one friend is heavily dissociated and loudly repeating words while my other is content to sit and stare blankly upwards, while yet another seems to be receding from reality all together. We play super smash bros, I find my ability somewhat improved, perhaps due to a faster reflex time and faster, twitchier fine motor movements for pressing buttons.

One of my friends who is on LSD and is inexperienced with psychedelics accidentally makes a bit of a mess. I take them upstairs to give them a change of clothes and find they are lapsing in and out of being responsive and that they seem at times entirely unaware of the outside world. They are completely disconnected from reality and any sense of consequence, and that’s when I realize this person needs to be watched over by a sitter. I feel lucid enough to take up the role and also deal with the cleanup of the mess. Somehow I manage to quickly, calmly, and competently accomplish all of this, beyond my expectations of my functionality in any state. I end up having to knock my friend out with benzos and sedatives as their trip seemed to have taken a sour turn and they had wished for it to end quickly. After they are safely asleep I rejoin my other friends downstairs who seem a bit freaked out by what happened. The nausea has returned and is coming in waves again.

As the night goes on we all smoke a great deal of cannabis. I am still phasing in and out of intense nausea and despite not having eaten all day I have absolutely zero appetite. I find myself still having to urinate often too. The shaking has not let up either, though I have my motor skills about me enough to roll a blunt by this point. Through the next few hours I feel the familiar pleasant feeling of a psychedelic afterglow, though the physical effects have only barely decreased from peak levels. I can form thoughts more eloquently and make connections better than normal, I feel witty, funny, competent, smart and confident. It feels deep and not superficial, and hanging out with my friends feels great as we joke and laugh all night. I do eventually feel like I have grown exhausting, to myself and others. I end up going to bed very late into the night despite having to wake up somewhat early the next day.

I go to bed. Sleeping was difficult as I felt pretty wired mentally and it was very hard to get comfortable physically. Though it had died down substantially, I was still stricken with the nausea and the tremors and the agitation in my muscles.

Almost a day later I am still feeling the physical effects, even though I have returned to my normal self mentally. I am still quite nauseous with some stomach discomfort and I still have to urinate frequently. I am still shaking a bit and the agitation still resides in my limbs, making it uncomfortable to sit still for too long. Mentally I feel drowsy and worn out all day, even after taking a nap. I later go to sleep early after starting to feel a cold coming on. My memory of the past day’s events is somewhat foggy, not as crystal clear as some of my memories on psychedelics are, especially with LSD.