Took 10 mg in a capsule. Was seeing a noise show by myself.

Arrive at the venue. Can really feel it start to kick in as I get off the subway, it only builds more and more as I approach the door and am let in. All goes smoothly. Someone is playing when I come in so I can hide in the dark and sneak into a corner. I slump against the wall and close my eyes and let the dissociative warmth swallow me.

Their set ends. I wait in line for the bathroom for a while (right next to nate young from wolf eyes!!!). In the bathroom I really get a grasp of how fucked up I am, as is typical when I’m tripping in a bathroom. Everything feels like fuzzy static, the entire world is lo-fi. step outside to smoke some weed. The outdoors are absurd, all the buildings look far away and everything feels like some strange fantasy. It feels like im watching the world from the bottom of a metal bucket. It seems like everything is through a fish eye lens and is glowing at the edges. I smoke and manage to make my way back to the venue, it feels like im just standing still and the world is moving around me until I am there.

The next set begins. I am right well dissed to space now. This one is an industrial noise act. It’s a dude at a DJ booth with an image of himself projected on the screen behind him, the effect making it recede into infinity, it is oversaturated and washed out. The noise eats me alive. I close my eyes for most of this set and just stand there feeling the tangle of sound waves as they batter me. I get my first ever experience with CEV’s while on this substance, It is monolithic angular objects with spiky toothy auras in an infinite space of spiky waves. They are generally all very angular and sharp, no soft edges or corners anywhere to be seen. They are all in warm dull colors like burgundy and dark grey orange. As I sail through this space I can feel my body become nothing, I honestly have no idea how I was able to remain standing. It feels like my body is just being disintegrated into these spiky waves by the walls of noise.

The set ends. I go outside to smoke more. It is similarly disorienting, and everything is even more warped seeming now, I don’t try to make sense of this world I just try to navigate it as safely and functionally as possible. I don’t want to go back into the venue, where the lights are up, I decide to just sit on the ground in dark little place outside and curl into a ball and just drift away. CEV’s aren’t too prominent now, just an overwhelming disorienting feeling of dissociation.

The next set begins. This one is so confusing. It is as much performance art as it is a sort of noise/spoken word act. Everyone is dressed up in strange ragged costumes. A small set was built on stage. People dressed as gnarled trees are dancing in the audience. This was all real not even me hallucinating but it was fascinating nonetheless. I feel like I have descended into some circle of madness the human mind wasn’t meant to tap into, and it feels great, it feels like I’m on a rocking boat going down the inky river styx.

This set ends. I feel slightly more coherent and less dissed. No good. I see someone I actually know here, a chance meeting. Whoa. We smoke weed together, I get myself back into the dis zone and need to be walked back. Being social is a real fucking struggle. I really hope I didn’t say anything rude or abrasive, I was so completely out of touch with social conventions and how to interact with others. I break off to go hide alone in the venue when we get back.

The headliner set begins. It’s Wolf Eyes. I stand directly in front of the speakers. The next 40 minutes are unspeakable bliss as I get swallowed by sound. I don’t even notice how loud it is, I just feel soundwaves battering me, literally feel them as they shake my bones and ripple my clothes. The noise the noise the noise is so huge. I don’t open my eyes most of the set, I am just in a sea of noise, in a sea of soundwaves with angular crests and troughs. Everything is a maroon darkness, my body is cut to pieces and cast into eternity, my mind is tripping and stumbling through the void and there is no world no worries absolutely nothing beyond this endless abyss of grating sound. I have never had a more rewarding live music experience than this.

Their set ends. I retreat to a corner and linger there while the venue empties. I go to the merch table. I feel so good, so confident. I get a bunch of stuff without really thinking, I show the members of that sort of performance group my locust costume which fits their aesthetic kinda well I guess. I normally wouldn’t do something like that, but 3-MeO-PCP fills me with a manic arrogance and confidence. I decide to walk home. I don’t even remember walking home. I felt like it would be a short walk, and although it was about two miles it did feel like a short walk. I honestly didn’t notice how far I went. I was manic and honestly probably looked like just another of the insane people who go around the streets around here at night in my erratic movements and wild eyes. I was confidently flirting with someone the whole way home. This was unlike me I think, this was just such haughtiness, the one thing that scares me about this drug is this personality shift that it levies on me. I came home and was glowing and just relaxed in my room the rest of the night.