Insufflated, completely painless and without irritation or discomfort, like snorting a cloud.

Onset. I am feeling pretty dizzy. It is beginning to thunderstorm outside. I step into my backyard and stand in the rain wearing only boxers and a raincoat. The cold raindrops clatter off of my steely body and thunder shatters the sky.

The storm rages on, wind sweeps through in great glassy punches. The raindrops seem to fall in slow motion, or leave tracers, coming down as vitreous lasers that drill into the ground. The rain trickles down the air. The water pools in my backyard, touching my feet with a cool sensation that pulses and climbs up my nerves. I begin to feel very heavy, every step I take is slower, heavier, done with more effort. I am vibrating into numbness, not warm or cold just neutral grey numbing warmth. I get that feeling of weight in my skull that I typically get from dissociatives. I feel hyper focused whenever I look at something, though that quickly fizzles away to just a stoned spaciness.

Feels smooth now, not really feeling like I am buzzing or vibrating anymore. Or perhaps I am buzzing at such a high frequency that it feels smooth. This is such raw and blank dissociation, it feels so utterly cold and neutral. The weight in my head sinks into itself, it feels like some insect in my head made of lead curling up for safety. The world become vitreous and gelly, the medium of air has been replaced with crystal clear gelatin, my limbs being a thicker jelly navigating this world in slow motion. Even time has become tangled in this gel, the world slowing around me.

This drug has very quick action. I can’t believe it’s only been half an hour and I am this altered. I have no body, only an estimation of what space I may occupy, and this space is being compressed on all sides by Styrofoam. The dissociation is pure, icy, and monolithically neutral. It begins to become hard to keep track of my thoughts, and my short term memory begins to falter.

Been thinking deeply about my memories, I have been cast far out of my sober space. I feel as though I am experiencing my memories in the third person. Moving has a distinct sloppiness and floppiness reminiscent of DXM.

I am dizzy and cannot sit still. I am sweaty, but not particularly warm or cold. The world has been reduced to plateaus, my vision is flashing and everything looks flat. I have double vision and cannot easily read. I close my eyes and sink into CEV’s, which appear very liney and blocky.

I fall into holes of focus on mundane things, like the facebook notification sound. I find a clip of the sound (and older notification sounds from fb) and play it again and again, wrapping the fullness of my thoughts around it, covering it in a webby mycelium that pulls from it all associated knowledge and memories. The air appears dry, shaky, and crystal clear, not composed of gasses, glass, or anything, just sheer and unrelenting stale emptiness.

Everything is so flat I am so flat. I am thinking a lot about other people now, viewing them from every angle hyper analytically like with the sound clip before. My mind has become a grey gelly tentacle creature with a great glassy eye, grabbing thoughts and memories and gazing real close as it turns them over in its hands, viewing them from every angle. The entire world stretches into a grim grey pallid smile, an eternal dry grin, the world is bones and crags, smoothness jaggedness and sterility. My mind is smeared blank, my thoughts begin to wander aimlessly. Why do I like music? What makes it appealing? This feels like MXE if everything was sinking and everything was a dead moth. This is pure ivory stasis and I am being smeared across it. I begin to think about the future and every vision is bleak and apocalyptic and ominous.

(notes begin to get more and more incoherent)

I begin getting visions of a great flat pixelated world, faces floating above me, a blocky desert all around me. Memories come back to tell me about how weird they are. I feel like a million bubbles lifting upwards. The sun has appeared in all of its glory and fury and my room burns with its incredible sterilizing light. I am so dissociated that even getting up is a baffling ordeal. My hands look like they have been crawling through a distant desert, like little scuttling creatures. Everything is glistening and glowy but in a sterile blistering way, I feel like I am being sucked down some great drain, but I am not large enough to fit. Reality has become meaningless to me and everything sounds like it is coming through a fan. I am so incredibly altered.

I feel like a bug. Certain drugs are very buggy to me, like this, 4-HO-MiPT, and Ketamine. The visuals, the sky, everything is insects, a mechanical-biological world of strange creaking clicking creatures. It’s all so mechanical and lifeless. I listen to mechanical buzzy lifeless music that seems to resonate perfectly with my head. I am not blessed by the landscapes and vistas and color and rush and sense of adventure with some of my favorite dissociatives like MXE. Rather, I am just sunk into this endless glassy grey quagmire of flat pallid nothing. Eventually the world begins to be consumed by a ringing static. All of these aforementioned qualities begin to fade to this buzzing shifting static, a static that consumes, that spreads like a virus. It is a sea, and the grains of sand on the beach, and the turbulent wash of all of those things together.

I feel like I am completely and entirely mechanical. To this end I spend the next 20 minutes or so holding down keys on my keyboard to make a big ASCII pictures of absolutely nothing. (see pastebin link). I still feel gelly, I still feel sunk, I still feel awash in abrading and grinding static. My laptop screen caves in away from me. It’s the blankest and most neutral trance imaginable.

I forget how I passed the time for the past few hours. I still feel like I am going just as hard as before, this is a unrelenting long lasting dissociative, hammering my mind like sheets of rain and hurricane winds. My mind feels so raw and bare, like it has been eroded by winds, and its hollowed depths now host only the howling winds. I feel like a rock in the desert, blasted into a bleak white by sand, sun and winds every moment of every day. It is like the air is screaming. I am so spun out, this is certainly not a functional dissociative.

Visit a friend briefly. Interaction is manageable at this point, although it was unthinkable before. Being outside is strange and I still feel very altered.

Mostly down by now. Go to sleep an hour later.